Monday, June 29, 2009

Edna Mae Lynch Fair

My great grandmother died last Wednesday night. She was so frail and weak. The only sad part about her passing is that she was so excited about turning 100, and she was just 12 days short of her goal. Yesterday was calling hours, today was the funeral, so I’ve spent the last two days surrounded by family.

I thought I knew my great-grandmother well. After all, from the ages of three until I was eighteen and I went to college, she sat right behind us at church every single Sunday. Two different summers, when I was fifteen and sixteen, I mowed her lawn (and yacked with her afterwards.) But in the past few days I’ve learned so much more about her. How feisty she was. How frugal she was. How funny she was. What a strong woman she was. What she valued. How she lived. Although I wish it could have been under different circumstances, I’m glad to have gotten to spend so much time listening to stories and getting to know my great-grandmother even better.

You will be missed, Gma. But, I know you are so much more comfortable now. You are with your Savior. And you’ve waited 20 years to see your beloved husband again. That part makes me happy. Thank you for being such a wonderful example of how everyday, normal people are truly are the best people to be. And good people change the world in the most significant and most meaningful ways- one person, one day, one conversation at a time.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Forgiveness is a very tricky thing....

So, apparently I'm very gracious in that person to person "it's okay" moment... But in my heart, by myself, days later, is where the real work begins... Where the real forgiveness needs to take place. It's rough.

And how does one go on interacting with people when you've said that you've forgiven them, but you have a hard time respecting them? You've always struggled with respecting them, but now.... NOW, it's really hard.

(Sorry, I'm getting so dark here... But I haven't been able to share these feelings or even the situation with anyone, and I need to release somewhere before I say something I shouldn't.)